[ It really wasn’t his intent to proposition Gigan or anything like that. Internally, Laios has been going through something that has been difficult to deal with. Having Kabru disappear suddenly after he has finally built an intimate bond with another person was making him feel rather bitter at the whole idea of forming a close bond with another human. He was wondering if building intimacy with a monster could satisfy that gap in his life now, but he was thinking more of the terms of just intimacy, not physical sex.
Has he entertained the idea of having sex with a monster? Not really. It depended on the monster, mostly, but having sex with a monster would continue to dehumanize him— it would make him feel like a monster, and that is what he wants more than anything else. Just now, Laios makes this realization about himself.
A shuddering breath escapes him. ]
When you
mate with a human does it feel like you’ve made some kind of bond with them.. or it’s just for fun? Do you enjoy it?
[The last question doesn't take any thought at all, so it gets answered first, in the automatic kind of way Gigan answers texts he doesn't have (or bother) to think about:]
YEAH I DEFINITELY ENJOY IT
I DON'T DO STUFF I DON'T ENJOY
[ . . . though the truth of that is a little more complicated than he needs to go into, or even than he entirely realizes.
That aside. The rest does still take more consideration in how to phrase his feelings, so the texts come more slowly:]
I GUESS IT DEPENDS ON THE HUMAN
THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT
SOME OF THEM JUST DO IT FOR FUN TOO
AND THAT'S THE KIND THAT MOSTLY LIKES ME
HERE
THEY KNOW I CAN DO THAT IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT
[Which is to say, he has something of a reputation in his workplace, among both coworkers and customers.]
BUT I DUNNO
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S NOT DIFFERENT FROM DOING SOMETHING ELSE WITH SOMEONE
[ The way Gigan is talking is nowhere anything near Laios would had ever considered a monster to talk about. It is obvious that there is still some kind of naivety in the way that Gigan speaks when it comes to human customs, but he is sounding more and more human-like the more he goes on. Laios always thought that monsters mate out of instinct and nature and they didn’t see it any different from doing any other activity. Gigan can tell it’s special than just any other activity if it’s done with someone who means something to him. That’s a big discovery.
Maybe Gigan is more human-like than he knows, and maybe Laios is more monster-like than he realizes.
Either way, Kabru introduced Laios to something incredible— an intimate bond, and to have that suddenly taken away from him when he and Kabru were having sex all the time, it’s really sinking in with him what has been lost and how lonely he feels. He’s faced with an interesting opportunity, now. It’s outrageous, but Laios never had sensible ideas to begin with..
Could he have that sort of intimacy and feeling with a monster? And even so, what was he going to do if he felt even more fulfilled with having that kind of experience with a monster instead of a human? That probably just makes him a filthy monsterfucker that his village would banish him for; he hasn’t spoken to his parents in ten years, but Laios definitely knows that they would probably just disown him if they ever found out. Who cares, they suck anyway. ]
Okay.
[ the pause on the other end is kind of agonizing, but then: ]
[It's almost never that Gigan actually has the thought, Did I say too much? But while he waits for these responses, "reading" back over his own, it does surface in his head. This isn't the kind of thing he talks about much. The very existence of anyone "extra special" is not one he's acknowledged to any other Outsider. It's not that it's a secret so much as it just . . . doesn't come up. He had never considered whether he would let it. His default state is keeping nothing close to his chest—his ability to be open about his thoughts and feelings hampered mostly by his vocabulary and experience, not his unwillingness.
And yet . . . it feels like maybe it was a lot, this time, and he's not sure what that means about what to expect in response. It would be, Gigan finally decides, a little frustrating if he got nothing interesting or important in return, and that's also a new feeling for him to sort out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW HUMANS MY REAL BODY HERE
UNLESS THEY'RE OUTSIDERS
BUT I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH AN OUTSIDER
SO CLOAKED FORM
BUT I HAVE IN MY REAL BODY BEFORE
KINDA
IT WASN'T EXACTLY MY NORMAL BODY
IT WAS AN EVEN MORE DEADLY KAIJU BODY
THAN USUAL
no subject
Has he entertained the idea of having sex with a monster? Not really. It depended on the monster, mostly, but having sex with a monster would continue to dehumanize him— it would make him feel like a monster, and that is what he wants more than anything else. Just now, Laios makes this realization about himself.
A shuddering breath escapes him. ]
When you
mate with a human
does it feel like you’ve made some kind of bond with them.. or it’s just for fun? Do you enjoy it?
no subject
YEAH I DEFINITELY ENJOY IT
I DON'T DO STUFF I DON'T ENJOY
[ . . . though the truth of that is a little more complicated than he needs to go into, or even than he entirely realizes.
That aside. The rest does still take more consideration in how to phrase his feelings, so the texts come more slowly:]
I GUESS IT DEPENDS ON THE HUMAN
THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT
SOME OF THEM JUST DO IT FOR FUN TOO
AND THAT'S THE KIND THAT MOSTLY LIKES ME
HERE
THEY KNOW I CAN DO THAT IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT
[Which is to say, he has something of a reputation in his workplace, among both coworkers and customers.]
BUT I DUNNO
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S NOT DIFFERENT FROM DOING SOMETHING ELSE WITH SOMEONE
LIKE GOING TO A MOVIE OR WHATEVER
EVEN I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
AND I CAN FEEL IT
IT'S NOT ALWAYS THE SAME FEELING
IT DEPENDS ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT IT TOO
OR IF THEY'RE EXTRA SPECIAL
THAT'S DIFFERENT TOO
BUT NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE HERE
WITH ME
do i cw for monsterfucking content, or
Maybe Gigan is more human-like than he knows, and maybe Laios is more monster-like than he realizes.
Either way, Kabru introduced Laios to something incredible— an intimate bond, and to have that suddenly taken away from him when he and Kabru were having sex all the time, it’s really sinking in with him what has been lost and how lonely he feels. He’s faced with an interesting opportunity, now. It’s outrageous, but Laios never had sensible ideas to begin with..
Could he have that sort of intimacy and feeling with a monster? And even so, what was he going to do if he felt even more fulfilled with having that kind of experience with a monster instead of a human? That probably just makes him a filthy monsterfucker that his village would banish him for; he hasn’t spoken to his parents in ten years, but Laios definitely knows that they would probably just disown him if they ever found out. Who cares, they suck anyway. ]
Okay.
[ the pause on the other end is kind of agonizing, but then: ]
Wanna
do it then? Just for fun?
it took me long enough but: yes. yes
And yet . . . it feels like maybe it was a lot, this time, and he's not sure what that means about what to expect in response. It would be, Gigan finally decides, a little frustrating if he got nothing interesting or important in return, and that's also a new feeling for him to sort out.
But it doesn't happen.
This is definitely interesting and important.]
YEAH
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN
I'M SURPRISED BUT KINDA NOT
YOU WANT ME TO STAY KAIJU
RIGHT